Last week a friend and I were in the lumber section of Home Depot trying to find something lumber-ish to make into a wall growth chart for Baby Hank. Shortly after I commented that no one in this section had seen two women and a baby in these aisles in the same day, we turned a corner and ran into a woman with a mullet and a disney shirt who gave us unsolicited advice about our lumber selection and then promptly and without warning invited us to a private party at her home that weekend. She said if we came, she’d give us a piece of lumber for free. Normally I’d do anything for free stuff; but I felt weird about this. She didn’t specify what kind of food would be served (if any). It was just too much of a risk.