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How do you and your partner gift to each other during the holidays? Do you surprise each other, discuss gifts before, or buy for yourself? (totally have done this!)…
Early on in our marriage Jared and I discovered we had completely different styles of gifting, especially for Christmas. He loved surprising me really thoughtful things I didn’t know I wanted, buuut then part of me was always disappointed there wasn’t anything I had been eyeing.
With kids, the focus changed completely. It was moved off of us, and onto the kids and who Santa gifts to. Does Santa bring gifts to adults in your home? It still feels odd to not have anything to open on Christmas so Jared and I often will gift to each other or have the kids pick out things for us. There were definitely years when I would just buy a couple things for myself during Black Friday sales, wrap them up, and then ‘open’ them on Christmas morning. Ha! It was the only way I could rationalize buying for myself during the holidays, especially since I have a late November birthday too. Jared thought it was completely bizarre, understandably. Somehow after 12 years of marriage gifting is still a work in progress!
Jared and I might not be the only ones struggling with gifting each other. Thought it was interesting to read at Tophatter that 20% of women say their husband is a great gift giver, and 35% of men say the same about their wives. So, we might all have some work to do to be better gift givers and communicate those expectations with our partners.
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My husband and I will typically save up for a bit, and buy nicer gifts for our parents and familyn- we’ll usually focus mostly on their gifts for opening on Christmas day. Then we will get a couple smaller, and more meaningful, gifts/experiences that we open, just the two of us, on Christmas Eve. Usually, more often than not, we’ll end up buying our bigger/main gift for each other after Christmas – aka after another paycheck comes in. 😊
Oops. My name is MAC HAYES, not Mike Hayes – that’s my husband’s name. Dang autofill. 🙄
when we first started off together we would often get ourselves what we called
“something for the house”, a nice treasure that everybody could benefit initially,,,
This is a fun conversation! Exchanging gifts with my husband has changed over the years. He was an excellent gift giver when we were younger but our lives are fuller now and the gifting is harder and the money is tighter. Around this time of year it’s become an informal tradition for me to ask him “If you could buy me a really extravagant gift, what would you get.” And I tell him what I’d want to get him. It’s weird, but this feels super satisfying and I get that lovely “you really know me!” feeling a good gift brings, but without the gift. The gift would be nice too, but the feeling does the trick for now!
That’s so sweet! It is the thought that counts 🙂
I sincerely love this idea of hypothetically asking your S.O. what they would get you if money wasn’t an issue – Each person gets to show off how well they know the other, and get creative thinking of the perfect gift/experience, with infinite options, but without the actual financial stress. I mean, yes, in a perfect world, it would be great if the gifts actually came to fruition, but in the real world, it’s a great way to show off how you would totally spoil each other, but without the hit on the ol’ wallet.
It was hit-or-miss for the first 30 years of our marriage. But the last seven years we’ve stuck to the same gift exchange…I give him a new cap of his beloved football team and he gives me my favorite perfume. We would much rather spend the money on gifts for our grandchildren. Nothing can beat seeing the joy in their eyes when they open their gifts!
It’s true! It’s so much more fun gifting to kids
I’m so horrible at gifts, which is why I’m grateful that my boyfriend and I typically stick to no gifts, or one that costs very little!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
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