Friends! I have the most wonderful and amazing news to share with you all. After almost 4 years of dealing with infertility issues I’m so excited to announce that we are (finally!) expecting a second child the first week of November. Hooray!!! I’ve had the hardest time keeping this a secret since finding out, but with so much difficulty and heartache getting to this point I’ve been too terrified; and also been in complete shock now that things are so far progressing healthy and happily.
I haven’t really talked much about our infertility issues here, which has felt disingenuous to you all and I apologize. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve drafted up posts in my head, wanting to reach out and share with you all our journey. As much as I wanted to connect with others for support, I also was feeling too desperate and vulnerable to open myself up to advice.
Pregnancy is a funny thing, we don’t completely understand what all happens on the cellular level, and may not ever know why it doesn’t work, or one day after years of treatments and trying, it does work. Our doctor told us once after yet another failed fertility treatment that they don’t understand 90% of how conception happens. 90%!! And this was from one of the most respected practices in No. California! I wanted to feel confident about the path we were on in our treatments and feel good about the care we were being given so it was something I decided to keep private from the internet until we were on the other side of it. I hope you understand.
And here we are! On the other side! Finally pregnant and happy and wonderfully grateful for this little miracle for our family. However, the sting of years of devastating loss and disappointment month after month (let alone the financial costs) is still raw and tender to me, and I’m spilling over with things I want to talk about regarding infertility, and particularly secondary infertility as I feel like it’s a whole different package of unique struggles and challenges. My heart just aches for any of you in the middle of a similar journey for a child and I just want to sit with you, eat a big bowl of ice cream and have a good long cry together over the ridiculous of it all.
So! This post is the first in a series of 3 posts I’ll be sharing over the next couple weeks about our journey with secondary infertility. It will be a good way for me to process what we’ve been through and perhaps might be interesting to some that are going through a similar process, or know someone that is.
I’ve been more excited to start talking about my infertility journey than even announcing the pregnancy so hooray for being able to do both! Today is a good good day.
PS Thanks to my friend Liz of Cotton and Curls who snapped these photos after our fabric shopping yesterday
Congratulations and very best wishes.
I just found your blog through A cup of Jo (as I bet many people have recently!) and wanted to send you a big congratulations.
My story is very similar to yours.. I had a beautiful little girl 5 1/2 years ago without any troubles and then spent the next 4 years dealing with infertility and loss (2 miscarriages and a stillborn baby) before I finally had a beautiful little boy (called Henry!!) last September.
I’m looking forward to seeing pictures of you and your gorgeous little addition in November!
P.s A 5 year age gap turned out to be pretty damn good so don’t worry! x
I am so so happy for you! And we are exactly the same weeks pregnant! We dealt with infertility for 2 years and then, right before we were supposed to start IVF (that we could barely afford) we spontaneously got pregnant with twins.
The whole process, infertility and then becoming pregnant is a real mind-*&^%. I freak out every morning because the bump is so small and then I freak out every night because the bloating makes the bump so huge.
I hope that you have an easy and safe pregnancy and if you would like to share any SF-specific advice (maternity stores, baby supply stores, mommy groups) I would be very grateful! I also live in the city but only have one other pregnant friend.
Congrats! What an amazing surprise after a long journey. Best of luck with those twins of yours!
I echo the other comments. As someone also struggling with secondary infertility, I wrestle with so many conflicting emotions. Your post could not come at a better time. I look forward to reading your future posts. Heartfelt congrats to you! Wishing you a wonderful pregnancy!
Congratulations! You’re name is so often attached to the eye catching. Once again — you caught mine — and in an entirely different way. I can only imagine the thrill. Joy!
I’m not sure how I stumbled on you blog…I believe Instagram in some odd way, but so thankful I did. It’s difficult finding a relatable story about infertility. I can surely attest to the infertility being simply isolating. I hope to have a happy ending in the fertility department, but for now taking a break from the stress before starting down the various treatment paths. Looking forward to reading about your journey! All the best to you and your family! xo
Thanks for your comment Adriana. I think a break every once in a while is a good idea when dealing with infertility. it just takes over your life! best of luck, darling xoxo
Congrats Liz!! What wonderful news, I can’t wait to read more about your journey.
Congratulations!!!!! Thats so wonderful. I wish you all the best. Look forward to keeping up with your pictures and your progress along the way. Thanks for sharing!
The hardest won battles are the most triumphant! Congratulations!
Congratulations! You look great.
Congratulations! We are so thrilled for you!
I’m a little late responding but …..YAY, CONGRATULATIONS. So very excited for you. You look beautiful.
I am visiting from AltSummit and took your wonderful class. Congratulations on your pregnancy!! I got a bit teary, we have been working on our 2nd for a bit now with no luck, every month has been a disappointment. (first time I have said it in print)
Love to hear wonderful news like this during the down times! Thank you for sharing and congrats again!!
thank you laurel! i wish everyone were more open about it, but it’s a hard thing to talk about- there’s a whole box of emotions that comes with is. the best best of luck in our journey. hang in there!!
Congratulations! So glad you are on your way to expanding your family! And you look amazing!
Congratulations! I am so happy for you and relieved to see that it can happen. It sounds like we have had a similar 4 year journey of secondary infertility. It is so difficult and lonely, and we are so often the recipient of “off the cuff” comments that really minimize what we are going through. If I never hear “everything happens for a reason” again, it will be too soon. I’m really looking forward to reading more about your experience. Thank you for sharing this.
I just had to say congrats and thank you for sharing your journey. I look forward to reading and finding strength in your success. We are also struggling with secondary infertility. We have already had one ectopic pregnancy and one miscarriage and finally have started working with a fertility doctor. I just had surgery yesterday to remove endometriosis and scar tissue as a result of my ectopic pregnancy. Hoping for brighter days ahead. I am just so grateful that our generation is more open and willing to talk about infertility and support one another through it. I really feel like I have so many friends and family who are invested in our happiness and support us through this challenging adventure. I pray that baby makes its journey safely into your arms. Congrats!
Congratulations! What wonderful news for you three!
Congrats to you and your family, what a blessing! Wish you the best!
You don’t know how much I needed to read your post (and all the responses) and know that I’m alone 🙂 Thank you.
Congratulations! I have made several of skirts from your tube skirt tutorial – best early maternity wear ever. Plenty of room for a big lunch :))
YEA!!! I am so excited for you. It took us 1 year to get pregnant with our first child– I couldn’t believe how frustrating it was. I can only imagine waiting four! I am so glad to read this. Congratulations!
Liz, I am so thrilled for you!! Congratulations!! I think it is courageous of you to share your story and I am eagerly anticipating your next posts. I am also experiencing secondary infertility and it can be so heartbreaking at times. It is comforting to know I am not alone. Thanks again.
Congratulations!!! So excited and thrilled for you! I struggled to have both of my girls after (and still suffering) from endometriosis and other issues.
Wishing you a wonderful pregnancy! Congrats!
congrats, liz! and thank you for posting this amazing news! i also dealt with secondary infertility for four years and am now, miraculously, five months pregnant with our second child. when you said that the loss and devastation was still raw and tender to you, my heart ached in agreement. infertility is such a lonely, sad journey. we are over the moon about my pregnancy, but will never forget the struggle and heartache it took to get here. thanks so much for sharing your story.
congrats, congrats, congrats!!!!!!
Congratulations Liz! So incredibly excited for you and your family! Looking forward to the additions this may bring to your site…esp Sites and Bites while pregnant 😉 !
Haa it’ll mostly be bites and bites. I have a mean appetite now!
Congrats! What great news for your family! Wishing you and baby a happy, healthy, pregnancy!!!
Congrats!! That’s so wonderful 🙂
Best news ever! I am beyond thrilled for you guys! Congratulations, and thanks for sharing!
I cannot tell you how my heart swelled when I saw the picture, and then to read about your infertility struggles. Still, I am so, so happy for you and your family and for this new life. Congratulations!!!
I’m So so happy for you all!! Such exciting news! I’m eagerly waiting for your series on your journey through infertility. We have dealt with infertility and now secondary infertility and it’s so lonesome, even though my husband and family are so supportive! If people don’t understand infertility, they REALLY don’t understand secondary infertility. If you have a child, people just assume you can have more. That part is very painful. And I struggle everyday between wanting another baby desperately and just trying to be content with the beautiful blessing me already have! Thank you so much for sharing. When you are in the thick of it, it feels like you are the only one with this struggle even though so many women and couples go through it. Thanks for being brave!
I hear ya, secondary infertility is really misunderstood, and very isolating because of that. There’s a lot of guilt involved as well. I’m excited to talk more about it here. Thanks for sharing your story briefly
Congratulations, and thank you for writing about this. Infertility is so incredibly hidden and lonely, and if you are lucky enough to get pregnant, the fear and isolation continues on into the pregnancy.
We are in the very early days of pregnancy after IVF, and like you, I think I am almost as excited to be able to finally tell people what we have been going through as I am to announce the pregnancy.
Congratulations again, you look wonderful. It suits you!
Congrats Liz!!! I, too, suffered from infertility for 4 years before getting pregnant with my daughter and then had two preemies. What an emotional roller coaster, especially going to church (LDS) and seeing everyone get pregnant as if it was nothing and sitting silently in your torment. The one thing I learned is that getting pregnant is a crap-shoot (trusting in God’s plan for us each individually helps), but that the stress doesn’t end until that precious baby is in your arms and then all those years of struggle seem to not matter any longer. Your new little one will be so precious to you because of the struggles you have had and your little one is lucky to have you as their mom!! Congrats again!!!
It took three years of treatments, a few miscarriages and two adoptions gone awry before I finally was able to carry to term our daughter who is now seven.
I tried a bit for a second but stopped after another miscarriage – wanted to be able to appreciate the bird in the hand. Couldn’t go through anymore.
Congrats – I know how difficult it is, especially keeping it secret. What a blessing!
Congratulations! You look beautiful!
If you have a girl you should name her Violet. Wouldn’t it be lovely? Congratulations!!!
Okay you’re kind of freaking me out because that’s a name I’ve loved for years…
What wonderful news! And thanks for being so brave and sharing your story. Best wishes in the next few months!
Hooray! Hooray! I cannot wait to meet this new little person. Very good day.
Congratulations on this wonderful news! my girlfriend is also pregnant…i am still in school and it’s not that a goodnews for me.
Infertility can just tear your heart apart, can’t it? I’m so happy that you have another sweet little one on the way!
i’ve been reading your blog for years (and I have a little Henry myself) so just wanted to pop in and say congrats. such a joyous day!
I am so very very happy for you Liz! It is a difficult and stressful journey but I can understand how relieved you must be to get “this part” done with. As someone who is still struggling with secondary infertility, I can understand how it pulls you in all directions. The sadness of month after month of unhappy news, the guilt for wanting more than the one precious child you are lucky to have… there is so much wrapped up in this journey. I love hearing success stories from other women who have been where I am… it gives me hope. And in what at times can feel like a very isolating situation, that is one of the things I can hold on to. Very best wishes to you over the coming months.
Ugg, I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s truly the worst. Best of luck in your journey!
Congratulations! I’m so happy for you I could cry. We struggled for years with secondary infertility (for me), and infertility for my husband and it’s a monster that I don’t wish on anyone.
I am so so happy for you!
Liz, I am so excited for you!!! This is such great news. And I’m so glad you’re going to share more of your story – so many people are dealing with this, it’s crazy. My sister has struggled with the same thing for 5 years and just got pregnant on her first round of IVF – she’s due in Nov too!
Yay yay yay!!!!! Liz, I’m so so happy for you three. I’m so glad I can check up on you and feel like we’re still connected even though I haven’t talked to you in forever. Know that I’m sending excited hugs your way from Utah. 🙂
So, so happy for you guys. It’s amazing and terrifying. On the other end, my first 2 required fertility and this last one was such a surprise that I felt guilt over getting pregnant so easily, knowing how hard it was for people. I didn’t share with anyone for a long time for the opposite reason. In the end, totally agree. The end result is a tiny perfect baby, and once we get to that point, the entire journey was worth it. It gives you so much empathy and compassion for those who struggle and makes you kiss a thousand times the one you have. xo
It’s true. Looking back at my first pregnancy I was so naive thinking everything would be perfect- I didn’t even consider anything else! It does make you appreciate what you have and respect the difficulty of the process. You can’t take the miracle of creation for granted!
Just thrilled for you and your family! I’m a fellow San Franciscan who had a difficult and painful 2-year journey trying to get pregnant, and I’m due to give birth in the next few weeks. Needless to say, I’m a bit teary after reading this post! One thing I’ve learned is that the journey is part of our family’s story, and it doesn’t end or disappear with a positive pregnancy test. I deeply appreciate your willingness to share what you’ve been through, and wish you all the very best in this amazing and hope-filled new chapter.
It’s true, I’m not going to be relieved until there’s a healthy baby in my arms. Pregnancy is a scary thing
So happy for you & Jared! You look adorable with your skinny legs & cute belly 🙂
Congratulations on this wonderful news! I had such an easy time getting pregnant that I had no idea infertility was an issue. Then my sister struggled with infertility for years. Watching her struggle and seeing her pain made me realise that family planning is an oxymoron. Seeing her hold her children was as joyful to me as holding my own. Have a safe and happy pregnancy. You’re glowing!
So good to hear about your sister. More people deal with infertility than you’d think. 1 in 8 couples! It’s a often misunderstood and isolating issue. Thanks for your note!
Congratulations!! The world needed another adorable Stanley kid in it!
I tend to be very private too, so I understand keeping it under wraps. I think it’s great though that you’re talking about it now. I have no doubt it’ll help those struggling.
Lots of love lady!
Oh my goodness Liz! I’m SO incredibly happy and excited for all of you! I know several people due this fall (including my sister, I’m gonna be an auntie!) so there’s something about this time of year that makes magic happen. I’m so happy your long and arduous journey is coming to a beautiful beginning (not end).
I AM OVER THE MOON for you! Congrats to you and your lovely family! Here’s to an incredible year! XO
Long-time follower, first-time commenter here. Congratulations on such wonderful news! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.
Crying happy tears for the absolute wonderful news and sad tears for the journey you have been on. Love you, Liz.
Robin you’re making me cry!
Such wonderful news!
What joy – congratulations!!!!!!!!
Congrats, Liz!! I’m so excited for you guys!! 😀
Congrats! SO happy for you. My mom had secondary infertility after me then went on to have 3 more children 8, 10 and 12 years after I was born. I have one 2 1/2 year old daughter now and started much later than my own mother and with the concern of it being hereditary is something I worry about if/when I plan to have more children. I look forward to following the rest of your series.
How interesting, what a crazy mystery secondary infertility is. Happy to hear your mom continued on to have more children. Very inspiring!
Congratulations!!!! What wonderful news and you are absolutely glowing!!!! Can’t wait to follow the little one’s progress!!
xoxo PARIS BEE kids blog
Liz, so so so happy for you guys! You are positively beaming in those pictures. Congratulations!
YAY YAY YAY!!!! I’m so happy for you all. You must be so thrilled. Such wonderful news!
Congratulations! Amazing news!
Oh, Liz…this is wonderful! Congratulations!
Liz!!! Congratulations!!! SO excited for you!!!!!
The whole family is so excited we can’t even stand it. Another cousin to love!!! Oscar and Betty are already wondering when the baby can come to Cousin’s Week.
Hooray for Liz and Jared and Henry!
Congratulations, Liz! I am so happy for you and your family! You look gorgeous and so happy!!
Congratulations! I totally understand how you feel about not wanting to share that story on your blog, that is your decision, don’t ever feel bad! Enjoy this amazing time.
Thank you Rachel, I appreciate your support. THere were many moment I wanted to but knew my emotional state better…
Such wonderful news!!! SO happy for you and your family!! Looking forward to hearing more of your story! xo Kelli
Congratulations!!! I too am dealing with infertility and it is heartbreaking. We’re in the beginning stages of IVF, and you have brought me much hope today!
Yup, been through that- I feel your pain Sarah. Sending fertile thoughts your way and lots and lots of hope and strength in your process. I’ll talk more about what we all went through next week. xoxo, L
Best news ever! I gasped and teared up when I saw that happy picture. As someone who is also going through fertility issues, I absolutely love seeing folks get to the other side. Congratulations and I can’t wait to read the series!
Thank you so much for sharing. This was exactly what I needed to hear today. It makes me not feel so alone. I am very happy for your happy news.
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAY!!!! love this post 🙂
One of the happiest blog posts I’ve ever read =)
Liz! What amazing and wonderful news. I am thrilled for you and you family. What a lucky little one to be coming to the ricks/stanley clan. Sincere wishes for a healthy pregnancy. much love, buffy
Congratulations on your wonderful news! You look gorgeous!
Hi Liz – congrats! I completely understand your pain and suffering with secondary infertility. I wrote about it here: http://inmadison.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/thats-the-plan/
Hooray for focusing on the next journey! All the best.
dear liz, CONGRATULATIONS! that is just beautiful news, so happy you are expecting a little one, trying to have a baby is such a journey. you look absolutely gorgeous in these pics, too! hooray, hooray! 🙂
Biggest congratulations for you! Have a good, healthy and happy pregnancy!
Congratulations! You are beaming in those photos. Pregnancy is such an exciting time – I’m expecting my first next month. How far along are you?
Oh wonderful! Congrats as well. I’m 15 weeks along 🙂
Wow, I am so happy for you! Such joy in your face 🙂
Congratulations! That is so exciting. We didn’t talk about it much either, but there is a nine year gap between our oldest two boys and our baby. The waiting and wishing is hard but in the end it’s worth it!
Wow, what a difficult journey you’ve been through as well. But hooray for coming out on top!
congrats liz. im excited that another child will get to benefit from your awesome style.
yay liz! so excited for you and happy to hear the news on your blog. it’s crazy how many people in our lives may be dealing with infertility and we don’t even know about it. being private often saves a few tears 😉 hope to hear more of your journey soon!
Congratulations!! Thank you so much for sharing your journey, I’m really looking forward to your posts. It’s so incredibly hard to talk about, and I always appreciate hearing others’ stories. Such wonderful news, biggest congrats to you and your family!
Liz, soo happy to hear that.
Congratulations to your whole family!
oh liz i’m so happy for you! congratulations! i’m very excited for your posts too! after over a year and some infertility treatments ourselves, we are due with baby number one in early november too! i completely understand what you mean about being terrified! announcing this week was hard for me because i’ve been such a worrier about losing it now that we finally have it!
so glad to have you as a preg twin!!
Congrats!!! So glad to hear another success story!! xoxo, L
Yay! Congrats! And thank you so much for sharing such a deeply personal and difficult journey.
This IS the best news ever!! I can’t even imagine how happy you must be feeling- it’s definitely showing! You look wonderful! Many congrats:)
Congratulations!!!! I am very happy for you!!! I wish you all the best!!
Congratulations, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
What wonderful news! I think like most of your readers, I gasped in excitement! Congratulations to you and your family!
As soon as I saw that title I knew what this post was about…and so happy I was right. CONGRATS! Looking forward to your posts about secondary infertility…I know this can be a difficult and misunderstood issue. Anyway, happy for you guys…you’ve definitely got that glow.
Congratulations! You look so happy!
Congratulations Liz! You look absolutely gorgeous!
Congratulations on your amazing news! You look so so happy and gorgeous. So exciting!
Whoo -Hooo! Congratulations!! You must be over the moon. What a great way to start a day.
Congratulations! What happy news, especially after a long and heartbreaking journey!
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