It’s Halloween evening. The kids are asleep with sugar comas, and I’m sitting next to a pumpkin bucket of candy with a tiny bit of a hangover. Are you there too?
I love Halloween, but like many holidays, I’m also a bit relieved when it’s over and life can go back to normal. After Halloween in particular I’m reminded that it’s end only signals the beginning of a much bigger, much more stressful holiday season. I’ve heard it referred to as The Parenting Finals. Parents are put to the test like never before. Activities! Decor (pinterest worthy duh)! The best gifts (but on a tight budget)! Home baked pies! (Oh no, not the food processor!) Advent! Elf on the Shelf! Charity! Parties! All while doing all the other stuff! And make sure it’a magical and meaningful! Cookies in the shape of trees! Trees in the shape of cookies! Now…..GO!
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I loved this piece. And *Parenting Finals*… what a perfect way to describe this season!
I have been thinking a lot about how to slow things down a little for the Christmas season so we can all just enjoy ourselves a little more. I’d really like to just simply and spend more time at home watching movies, baking, making snowmen and just cozying up by the fire. It’s not going to shrink the holiday to do list, but I think if I take the time to recharge at home, the to do list won’t feel so overwhelming!
Love the service angle too. We pay our kids a weekly allowance and they have to put one third of it away for ‘giving’. I’m going to make sure we go out to the pharmacy this year with that money and buy some essentials to donate to our local ‘Women in Need’ organization. It’s impotant to me that they understand that they have the ability to help others in simple ways.
We love the 4 gift max for our kiddos.
Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. That’s it! No more!
Advent is central to our family’s faith tradition, so we won’t cut that. But we observe it with simple practices: wreath and lighting af dinner, the calendar, and a new book at bedtime (provided by my mother in law).
Love the simplicity of this. The festive mood and simple time spent together 🙂
Gosh that’s a good way to put it! On my list, husband’s birthday mid-november, Thanksgiving, daughter’s birthday, beginning of December, Christmas, another daughter’s birthday beginning of February. My youngest is turning 2 in December so I’m still not used to this schedule! Every year I seem to do less and the thing is to be okay with that.
We spent 3 months in Ecuador last winter with only carry on luggage. That was a beautiful lesson of what we actually need. Trying to hold that mentality coming into the gift giving season.
As for service, I’m looking forward to what other readers suggest. We like to do shoe boxes filled with goodies with good Samaritan. I’m making a quilt for a friend with mental illness. As a family, we try to be aware of who may be feeling lonely in the community and invite them into our home.
The quilt idea sounds so therapeutic. I knitted stockings a few years ago and it made me so happy to have a quiet activity to do in the evenings. But Ecuador! OMG that sounds life changing. How inspiring!
I just listened to ‘present over perfect’, and I think with the first thing- budget- it should also be budgeting in time and energy. She talks a lot about how our last priority is our bodies, and I know I’ve felt that way. Doesn’t matter if I’m tired and a little grouchy, let’s push on and do the tradition! The party, the play, or whatever. I had surgery last year for thyroid cancer, and it has changed my year. I’ve always been very good about pushing myself only far enough. I’m not going to miss sleep to prep for a party, and I alot my time differently. If I already have one or two things in a day, I’ll move the third thing to another day. I just know I can’t handle it, especially being my first time ever experiencing anxiety (32 and 4 kids, living in Pleasanton). My kids are great at entertaining themselves as needed,and don’t rely too much on a certain tradition (last year we watched lots of Christmas cooking shows instead of going out and doing stuff, and loved it). They hear ‘maybe not this year, but here’s what we can do instead’’ regularly. Now I’m looking forward to the holidays in a different way- still overwhelmed a little, but I know I won’t overdo anything. We can reschedule and say no to whatever!
‘present over perfect’. Such a good reminder! I really needed that, thanks!
I used to make each of my children an advent chain with little gifts to open everyday—all wrapped up in a very Pinterest-y way. Stopping that tradition was a game changer and not just because it was one less thing to do. It gave me permission to really access what I was bringing into my home at the holidays—over-the-top expectations plus too many junk trinkets. Letting go of the idea that I should be able to do something magical and effortless by needle-in-a-haystack-ing 48 tiny, inexpensive but perfect gifts freed me up to think in other ways about what I want my children to value and how I want them to remember my efforts. “My mom was the best at wrapping tiny boxes with useless $.50 presents” is not how I want to be eulogized. “Lifestyle perfectionism” is the thief of real holiday joy and memories.
I bristled a bit about a “holiday” post coming right on the heels of Halloween, but this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks, Liz.
Exactly! Lifestyle perfectionism really is the thief of joy, and honestly my own sanity! I”m way too much of an overachiever. I’m still laughing at those 48 fancy pinterest worthy boxes you wrapped!!
I’ll add too that I’d like to see Thanksgiving celebrated with less stress. The original was basically a potluck party about not dying of hunger the year before. The holiday should be about showing up, grateful that you made it through the year, sharing whatever bounty you have, not showing off your perfect tablescape.
Pie too; it should also be about pie.
I like this 🙂 it’s my first holiday season as a mother, so I know I’m going to have to fight the urge to go overboard (and undoubtedly end up crying during a sugar crash Christmas Eve while I try to finish everything I committed to). I’m with you about simplifying presents. Miles is going to get so much from family and friends, I want to try to keep things calm.
As far as service goes, every year the community college where I work has a Giving Tree campaign in which faux Christmas trees are put out around campus with tags hanging on their branches instead of ornaments. Each tag represents an anonymous community member in need (referred by trusted organizations), and has their wishes listed. Whoever takes a tag buys the gifts for this person! It was so sobering this year to see how many people simply need good winter coats. My family takes one tag per year, for a senior citizen, and tries to make their gift as special as possible. I wish we could do more, but money is tight — however, we’re so much luckier than many others. The baby is almost 1 so he won’t remember this, but it’s good to get in the habit of holiday (and year-round) giving as a family!
I love those giving tree traditions. I’ll have to find one close to us. I think starting with LOWER expectations is the way to go. I’m worried my kids will be like BUT THE ADVENT LAST YEAR MOM WAS EPIC
Love this list! I’m about to have a baby (due Nov 19!), so I have the perfect excuse for a more chill holiday season. That said, I think these are great things to consider when deciding how to start traditions with our little one, something my husband and I have been talking a lot about. It’s so easy to just get a bit lost in it all, love the idea of being more intentional.
For sure, this is a great excuse for you- congrats and best of luck! xoxo
A minimal holiday sounds like a great challenge! Would love to see you take on it! 🙂
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